


we're halfway there

by Nathanaelixir



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby, Cute Dean Winchester, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Fluff, M/M, Stop fighting 2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26139424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathanaelixir/pseuds/Nathanaelixir
Summary: "It was on the tape.""Yes.""You kept it ?""Of course I did."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	we're halfway there

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my friends because idk how properly write in english (Laura, jeanne, mansou, ily)

Cas doesn't usually sing, It's understandable since he's an angel. He's not supposed to know any other songs than hymns or alleluias.

But that doesn’t mean that he can't sing or that he never does it. Just, you know, he has never really sung in front of the brothers or even jack.

So when he starts to sing the lyrics of livin on a prayer in the car, next to him in the front seat, Dean doesn't even try to feign surprise. He stares at Cas, who keeps going and follows the radio, eyes closed. Then he realizes he's not watching the road anymore, so he focuses on the car again, but keeps listening to the angel. He wants to sing too but whispering, so he can hear him.

The angel has a soft voice. Deep, certainly, but soothing, and hearing him singing is like hearing a choir's prayer -he needs to stop thinking about Cas' voice now because he's too afraid of where his thoughts might lead him if he doesn't. Parts of his mind are like monsters in the closet, too dark, too frightening to him. And he can't afford to let himself think about it too much, or he will start to think about things like Cas' words on someone's skin.-

He's pretty sure he should have had a flashback of him and Sammy singing in the car when they were young but no he doesn’t. This memory is in his mind but in the back, filmy and blurry, because all he sees is Cas.

Cas, Cas, and he doesn't know if he has the right to join him for the chorus. Because of what happened and because this moment seems so fragile and way too precious to be broken. Too intimate to take the risk to shatter it.

After everything they've been through and all the words he said, Cas still trusts him enough to close his eyes and to sing in front of him in the middle of Kansas's night. And god, how could Dean have said things like "I wish you were dead" or "The wrong thing always seems to be you" ?, He doesn't want Cas to die. He wants Cas to sing all night long with his pretty voice and he wants to sing with him but he doesn't know how to say it, how to show it, without breaking everything in pieces. Cas isn't wrong. It's Dean who's not ok. Cas is the solution.

So fuck, the world is ending again what does he have to lose ? Nothing. 

So he just starts to drum his fingers in rhythm, waiting for any disapproval. But, Cas doesn't seem to mind and keeps singing. Taking that for an agreement, Dean starts by humming very quietly until he raises his voice, but not enough for it to overpower cas’ voice, it is gentle and soft because he wants his voice to melt with Cas'. He wants them to sing along, not to sing apart. Cas opens his eyes and looks at him but doesn't say anything.

Dean feels Cas' look on him during the rest of the song and he knows his ears are red as ever but he tries not to stutter and tries to act like his heart isn’t bouncing in his chest. Then the songs fade and another one begins on the radio.

They don't know it so they just keep quiet until Dean speaks.

"It was on the tape."

"Yes."

"You listened to it ?"

"When I was able to find a tape player, yes"

Dean remains silent because he knows that the tape has surely been thrown away when Cas left. He should have shut his mouth the day he wanted to give it back, he shouldn’t have tried to say edgy things like "It's a gift. You keep those." and he wishes he had kept it, just to make sure it was safe, then give it back when it was all over.

What's the "all" ? He doesn't really know.

"You want to listen to it ?"

"I don't have a double man, we can't -"

"It's in my pocket."

Cas takes out the tape from his coat and holds it out to the human. Eyes leaving the road for a moment, their fingers brush when he reaches for it. Then his eyes go back on the road, his hand and the tape still in the air, not knowing what to do with it.

"You kept it."

"I did."

"In your pocket."

"Yes."

Dean doesn't answer, he just moves his hand on the steering wheel again, tape between his fingers. Cas frowns.

"Dean, you told me to keep it."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"So why are you angry ?"

"I'm not angry. I just ... I thought you threw it away, when you left."

“I would have never done such a thing.", seeming more relaxed that he knows Dean is ok with that.

"You should have."

Cas frowns again and his voice sounds bitter.

"Why ?"

"Because you were mad at me ?"

"If I'd given you something important, would you throw it away after a fight ?"

The question is more like a statement which says "think about how stupid your idea is" but that could also mean "do you care about me as much as i do ?" and Dean doesn't really know why he is sure that it's the second option, since ghe vooce of the angel hasn't changed. So for the first time tonight, his eyes meet the angel’s.

"Never."

"Same for me. I gave it back because i thought you didn't want me to have it anymore. Not because i didn't want it anymore."

"Right."

"I want it Dean."

"Okay.", because he doesn't know what else to say and his throat is quite tight. "I want you to have it. I can make you some more, if you want to."

"i'd like that a lot." and Cas smiles. "I liked the songs."

"Okay." He repeats. "I'll do that."

Then Cas takes the tape from his hands and puts it on the radio. Dean doesn't even try to ignore the butterflies dancing in his stomach, when they start singing together, and Cas still has this broad smile adorning his face and his hand sitting on his lap.


End file.
